The Diabolical Dragon Read online

  Smug, right.

  If I could give myself a dragon name it would be Orion Smugly.

  I grinned, putting a skip in my step. My soul had long ago cleaned itself of morality. That was for mere humans. I killed, I extorted, and I flourished.

  “Help us!” A barely audible shout reached my ears.

  My fingers linked and I popped my knuckles with a stretch. A few leg pumps and a twist of my back had me ready to peddle my lies.

  I burst into a sprint from up high, my feet flinging the loose rubble as I raced for the cries of help. Into the cavern I dashed.

  The souls locked in my portcullis type trap beamed when I arrived. I saw them patting each other’s backs as if I was going to save them. Their big smiles were almost contagious.

  The container that trapped them was thick metal I had installed ages ago, created by an elderly master craftsman. You could get a shoulder through the openings in the crossed patterns, and that was about it.

  When I spied four knights alive and two dead, I wasn’t surprised in the slightest. Humans were despicable and worthless. Turning on someone after a series of unfortunate events was not only common, I expected it.

  The four clamored until I waved them to silence.

  “Has he returned?” I hissed, my question asked while looking over my back in pretend fright.

  Sir Barry’s face grew confused. His handsome features scrunching. “Master Mage Orion, you were late!”

  Duh… I was turning into a dragon.

  “I’m a busy man, I told you to wait before going on this adventure. You left me to fight that dragon by my lonesome,” I quipped, with an angry finger wag.

  “You said this would be easy,” he said between clenched teeth. “Where are my cousins and my man servant?”

  “Dead, and I’m shocked you’re not in the afterlife with them,” I scoffed and continued, “I probably stopped him right as he was about to burn you all alive. So you’re welcome.

  “You disappoint me. All of you. Think about how this would have been a win if you had waited. We could be going home victorious. The dragon skulls in the king’s banquet hall are plenty real and fetch as much gold as the dragon’s hoard. Do... not... fault me for your impatience.”

  My voice was rising with displeasure, to the point that the surviving knights around Barry were becoming fearful of my wizardly ways.

  “Listen to him, Barry,” a survivor said.

  I waved my hands down and then placed my palms up, using a breathing exercise my concubines practiced during labor. As a group we each had a few calming moments.

  “I have bad news and good news, which do you want?” I asked.

  “Good news,” they said, almost in unison.

  “I will have an army here after I send word back to Iglam.”

  The capital always was a point of contention. Iglam was far, but prosperous. Gathering a large crew to combat a dragon would make sense.

  “Iglam!” Barry groaned. His eyes calculated why I said a place so far. “You killed the dragon, correct?”

  “Wounded. My arcane spell sent him fleeing, and me too. I’m mana exhausted and unable to fight him again without time. I could go to Kruss but there is no mage of my caliber in that city to come up here. A—”

  “Blast it, Orion. You expended everything. Who’s the fool now? The knights or the useless mage?” Barry said, hitting his forehead slowly against the metal. Clearly he was frustrated. “No one from Kruss will come up here if the dragon still lives. A proper royal army will, but that means time.”

  “Master Mage Orion to you. And yes, Iglam and nowhere else will take on this mission. I will try my best to convince a Kruss crew to try to come to lift this trap. It looks heavy to the point that—”

  “Don’t bother. No one will venture here to risk lifting this. It will take a small army of men. Maybe thirty. Iglam is it, and that’s a week with a really hard ride.” His eyes shot to his dead comrades, calculating if they’d survive that long. Both of us knew that there was enough water for only one for that long. Zero chance he would survive without killing the others. “You’re right though. Iglam is the best bet for rescue. I… we can do it.”

  “I still cannot fathom that you rushed up here entirely for glory. You fool, I told you to wait, and now the element of surprise is gone. I almost fainted from mana exhaustion during our fight last night saving you. The bad news is, she may or may not have,” I said in a brisk manner with a sour tone.

  “He,” Barry quipped.

  “There were no testicles, probably used a male voice to throw you off,” I said, running a hand over my short hair. “This is a big problem. I can’t magic this up… this trap will take—”

  “A small army, no need to say it twice,” Barry said in a defeated tone. His hand stuck out of the prison holding a hand towel. “Lady Roselyn, she… will need this. She will unlock my funds for you to free me. Sell the stallions below too. They… may be most of my wealth not on me.”

  I accepted the towel, finding a ring tucked inside. After years of playing this game, I knew what was coming next.

  “Here give this to Karee… umm Lady Karee of Brickenshire,” the sidekick said.

  I rolled my eyes. “You’re knights. Just bag what you want and scribble some notes on where they go. Give me your coins too, so I can bring more help. Not like the coins are much use to you if you’re dead. I need to send their farewells also.” I pointed to the two dead knights. “Or people will ask questions. I take it the dragon killed them?” I asked sarcastically, seeing sword wounds on their necks.

  Barry stared daggers at me and said, “You… aye… give us ten minutes to write what we need to. Letters, wills, directions to our loved ones.”

  I shuffled away and out of sight, as if I was fearful of my life.

  When I rounded the corner I sat on a favorite thinking rock of mine. Behind the rock was the lever to raise the trap. I stared at the wheel that would spare them their fate.

  Ah, suckers.

  Part of why I had to kill the support camp, learned that one the hard way when a group got free. Luckily no one ever suspected the mage was the dragon.

  My mind shifted to thoughts of a new vagina to explore and my comfy bed at home. There was a loud psst sound drawing me back to my prisoners.

  I headed over with hunched shoulders and cautious steps. I kept peering at the entrance as if I had heard something.

  “Is he out there?” Barry asked.

  I sighed and said, “She, and best to hope it's not a dragon. Because if it is, then we’re all dead. I’m risking everything for you, Barry, even after you almost got me killed.”

  “Hurry. Get the word to Iglam, save us before we die, and I’ll reward you handsomely. We all will,” Barry said confidently with the others echoing an ‘aye’ in agreement. “This is enough to fetch a small force, and goodbye notes in case something happens. Personal effects to prove our messages are legitimate, too.”

  “You forget your station, Barry, I’m a viscount, not a common mage. Barry and fellow knights, I’m sorry I was late, and will make it up to you. I know, I know, it's rare to hear a nobleman apologize.”

  Barry stuck the bag out and I accepted it with a heavy heart, as if this transaction was a pang. There had been a few times where a second party found the first trap, so I never broke character even when my main goal was complete.

  “I’ll be back. If I can get the water jugs from the camp, I’ll bring them. If not, expect me to ride those horses until they die,” I told the knights, who nodded bleakly.

  When I spun, leaving them in a hurry, I heard relieved sighs. Those idiots thought they were going to be okay. No one tries to kill me and doesn’t suffer for it.

  When I was good and far, I chuckled delightedly.

  I knew what I’d come back to when it was time to loot the bodies of the expensive jewelry and heirlooms.

  Barry or the strongest sidekick would be struggling, barely alive. A quick spell and the ordeal would be ove
r. They always killed each other. Not like a squad of dragons would act differently. It was just fun to see who was the last one breathing. Though, not nearly as fun as this next part.

  CHAPTER 3

  Kruss Valley

  Day 52 of the 32nd year of Okarna’s Reign

  Kruss was a beautiful place with its colorful blooming trees, happy birds singing, and a calm feeling to the area. To get to Kruss, you traveled down cobbled roads, and through a thick forest.

  The trees enveloped a large city with expansive fields. You could see where humans expanded and built their farms until enough food was produced to sustain the population.

  Elven magic worked in tandem with human destruction as new trees were grown with earth magic in processing fields.

  Kruss thrived on its symbiotic elven-human relationships. I came here to get fine furniture every time my estate expanded.

  My inner circle of ladies begged to visit and it was a rare treat for all of us.

  A fine carriage forced me to the side. There was no better way to wave that you were a noble than four horses abreast.

  The residents I waited with were in a state of merriment, and a nice sunset brightened the horizon.

  This was one of the hidden gems inside the Okarna Kingdom. A spot untouched by court politics because it was out of sight and near a lot of elves.

  I overheard a duo besides a satchel-wearing donkey, griping about the latest law the king mandated.

  To me, King Okarna was a good liege. A lord I didn’t know or care about. He got my taxes from my private estate, which were hefty.

  He never raised what his father imposed, and I never asked to have it lowered. Exactly how it should be.

  I rode at the head of the fancy adventuring cart. The sides were closed up, their interiors stuffed with potions to increase sight or hearing. The rest was a bunch of snake water.

  Lot of good it did them.

  I collected daggers off the teenagers that I squished and a necklace off the old man I chopped in half. There was a reason I never burned anything: preserving value.

  I guess if anyone were to ask me what my weakness was, I would say that I was a hoarder. Some tropes are very real and this dragon loved his loot.

  Getting back on the road lightly jostled the wheels of the wagon pulled by the two fine stallions. These boys were beauties, and honestly I was a bit shocked Sir Barry could afford them.

  The knight was some distant third cousin to a favorable Earl.

  Hardly of importance, but still, he was a noble with servants.

  Of the six love notes I was sent home with, his target might be the toughest.

  A young lady Roselyn of Kruss was his recent wife. She was the daughter of a renowned craftsman of stature.

  Kruss was known for its lumber mills and fine furniture crafting, and her father was wealthy from it.

  He would have a second dowry ready to ensure his daughter was taken care of, which meant she was my last visit.

  The other five, three of them were older women past their prime. I already visited one, handing off the stuff for the other older wives for her to deal with.

  She handled the news bravely, and more so when I actually handed her three small purses. That was more than those men should have had.

  I did this not to be good, but to be perceived as good. Appearances matter, and the dragon slaying master mage of Loxfar had a reputation to uphold.

  My next stop was the sulking squire’s residence. He had a sister he looked after named Holly. She worked a day shift washing linens while he normally tilled the fields.

  They managed the estates for the local Baron and he took side jobs during down times. Of all the women left behind, she was the most vulnerable, and definitely not a widow.

  The map said I should turn after a third peach tree with a yellow flag under a branch. There was a note that I’d see the sign after two oaks.

  Sure enough, I saw the pattern ahead of me and turned onto the bumpy dirt trail that was clearly never leveled.

  In the distance were four farms staggered to give space for fields and yet only using one road. The second shack of a farmhouse on the right arrived quickly. I hopped down to pet the stallions.

  My arrival had been noticed by a set of eyes peeking at the stranger with the fancy wagon out front.

  There was something sad about Almeria. People were a lowly, valuable commodity.

  Only the prettiest or the strongest were ever given societal worth.

  Nobles rarely wanted an intellectual around them, telling them their ideas were inadequate.

  The only thing worse than a smartass serf was a fey. Anything non-human was on the lowest rung on the value ladder. At least in human lands.

  Which led to the nobles needing the poor to give them money to stay as nobles.

  For me, I not only exploited the poor, I killed them and then stole what they left behind. Hoarders like me had problems.

  I found the note that Barry had written for his squire Lexxer. Lexxer’s note was bullshit, and Barry knew it. The asshole also knew I would have to read it too.

  Basically, this read that Barry was awesome, Lexxer was an idiot, and in exchange for his idiocy, Barry would allow Holly to be a handmaiden to his wife because he was seven thousand and something in line from the throne. Yeah, no joke. Barry was a dick.

  “Excuse me, I ain’t buyin’ nothin’,” a young woman’s voice said from the window frame.

  I frowned, realizing that I indeed had a tinkering cart commonly used in peddling. “Ain’t selling. I carry tidings from Filheim.”

  The creak of the door had me smiling at the pretty woman when she left the safety of her home.

  She wore a frazzled dress that was clearly a hand me down. Her upper arms were dirty from nasty water while her lower hands were clean. She had eyes that startled me…

  “You’re fey,” I blurted…

  Fey were a magical type of humanoid and were commonly seen as beastkin. They tended to be hybrids of an animal, and pure fey were more animal than human.

  A fey generally carried magical traits greater than a common human, meaning they held more value to a master mage.

  Sex with a fey was shunned, because they were certainly not cognizant humans, and therefore their offspring were rare.

  Holly must have a different father than Lexxer. I couldn’t tell what kind at first. She wore a bonnet to cover her ears and the dress hid her figure.

  This was Lexxer’s younger sister, who needed protecting.

  Lexxer’s note said her father had died in the hillock skirmishes… which I quickly deduced was probably his father.

  She smiled at my observation, the slight difference in teeth giving her origins away. Mom had some romping with a foxkin. Yeah, her dad was a foxman for sure. I held in my shudder. That likely meant her mom had seduced a furry for fun.

  Holly fidgeted nervously at the fact I’d discovered her nature so quickly.

  I, however, was a confident around women. I flashed her a charming smile, asking for her hand.

  When a noble did this, they showed their signet, and were almost never refused. She went from nervous about me being a trader knowing she was a fey, to being concerned that I was a noble.

  “Master Mage Orion at your… I have a note to read you and it would be best if it was somewhere we can sit. I was told to tell you this, and I quote, ‘Holly is a right bitch,’ and then give you this,” I said with a wince, handing her a necklace with a circle on it.

  The circle had the mark of the Ostri religion. Not a fan of the whole claiming the world will burn and all will die during a judgment period, but to each their own.

  “That earns ya a seat at the table. This was his father's necklace. He died, didn’t he?” she paused on the front porch steps.

  “Holly, right? Want to be sure.” She nodded at my question. “Yeah, he died. So there are going to be two stories. You want the truth?” Another nod. She was going to be fun, I caught a slight flicker of a tail
hidden behind her belt. “Lexxer was supposed to meet me to slay a dragon. I cast spells, pushing it back… but after him and a young noble named—”

  “Sir Barry. Ugh, I know him. Scary Barry from the festivals. Don’t get near him if ya have tits. Not that he fancied half breeds. Sorry, not happy that Lexxer worked for him. Continue,” Holly said, tugging habitually on a sleeve.

  “Uh… not much more to it. They were killing each other when I left and only had enough water for three days if all four of them shared. That was two days ago.

  “I sent money and word to Iglam City to muster up a force for Filheim Mountains,” I said with sorrow. I saw her confused face and added. “They won’t be able to help for weeks at the earliest.

  “There was little more I could do because I expended my mana. I am useless in a fight for a month now.

  “So I’m spreading the word as a final respect. There is a small chance that your brother survives because some second party might find them, but that is the truth.”

  “And where is your family, Nobleman Orion?”

  “Lake Loxfar, and I’m a viscount. Prestige title for high taxes,” I said, with a slight grumble, “I run a mage academy and some other things.” I kept my true intent vague at this juncture.

  “And, Viscount Orion, the odds my brother is alive?” Her hands went to her hips. “I can handle the truth. I was at my mother’s side when the doctor said weeks... but it was days,” Holly said, retelling an all too common tale.

  “Zero, my lady, he died the moment I left. I cannot prove it... but—”

  “Barry would want the water for himself. That idjet brother of mine idolized him, too… sad. I’m romped. Romped right in the ass, and I hate butt sex,” she said in an exasperated tone.

  I think she expected me to blanch at her crass commoner talk.

  I kept a slight smile on my face.

  “I have an offer,” I said and held up a finger. “But first, here is the small purse for your split.”

  She sadly accepted the coins.